Are you there, Mr, Manager?
It’s me, Victoria. I know I’ve been bothering you with my resume and my cover letter, not to mention the phone call. Yeesh. I’m terribly sorry. I would be annoyed with myself. What was I thinking? Applying for a job that has a minimum requirement of 3-5 years experience… How overly ambitious of me! To think that someone like you would ever consider me, that, that was beyond naive. I apologize for even contemplating the idea of working at this establishment.
But seriously, why would you want someone fresh out of college thrown into the deep water with no floaties? There is no possible way that I might actually beat a record or something. New ideas. A creative mind. The ability to make the boring sound, dare I say, sophisticated yet inspiring? Not to mention my athletic background. That company softball team could win a championship with me. No! No, you don’t want that. You don’t want me. I’m a woman! I’m Hispanic! That’s two strikes right there. That glass ceiling won’t hold itself up, you know?
No. No, you don’t want me. You don’t want someone full of passion and a new outlook. You don’t want someone who holds strong to her values and ideals. You don’t want someone who could potentially be controversial. God forbid the press gets ahold of my previous writings. You don’t want someone who might challenge you. You don’t want someone who takes what has been given to her only to critically consider it, and come up with her own idea. You certainly don’t want someone from Texas! No. No, you don’t want me.
You want someone who will do as they’ve been told. You want someone who plays it safe. You want someone from the north, no gun-toting, God-fearing conservatives up there! You want someone who would never question authority. Yes, you want someone whom you can mold. You want someone who will regurgitate what’s been thrown at them. Yes, you want a cog in the machine!
Once again, I am truly sorry for wasting your time. I ask for your forgiveness. Perhaps after a few years of “experience” I might apply. Until then, good luck with your endeavor of finding a Copywriter, wait, Jr. Copywriter. Before I go, I just have one question. Know of any other places hiring? (:
Thanks and gig em!